The diagram shows how to make jam from the fruit
The diagram illustrates the process how jam is produced from fruit. Overall, it is clear that the process includes six stages starting cleaning fruit in a pail and ending on the family breakfast table. Furthermore, the whole stages are runned by machines and it involves two main steps which are process of producing and packaging .
First of all in the process , four kilogramm fruit are washed in the pail after that washed fruit is mushed well by masher machine. Following this , mashed fruit is boiled in the big size pot in the high temperature ,added ¼ cup sugar, two tbsp peanuts and a cup of water and mixed during ten minutes. After that , mashed fruit is boiled in the high temperature again during 30 minutes ,after then ,two cups more sugar and 4 cups water are added into the boiling mashed fruit then the second step starts .
In the next step , jam is poured in the different bottles then all filled bottles are kept in one hour by closing their mouthes. Following this all bottles are distributed to the markets for being purchased by customers.
The essay presents the steps in a logical order but lacks clear linking words and cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Clarify the distinction between stages.
- Ensure each stage is clearly connected to the next.
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive with some errors in word choice.
There are frequent grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detail and precision in describing the process.
Suggestions
- Include more specific details from the diagram.
- Ensure all steps are clearly described.
- Avoid unnecessary details not shown in the diagram.