The diagram shows how to make jam from the fruit.
The diagram illustrates how fruit jam is produced. Overall, it is clear that there are seven steps involved, divided into two main stages: starting with washing fruits in the pot, ending with family is having good breakfast with it.
In the first stage, the fruit put into a large pot and runs water to wash it out by tapping it. Next, fruits are mashed by masher in order to boil it easier at a high temperatures of 10 minutes, with additions like a large ladle, 2 two tablespoons of peanuts, one out of five cup sugar and one cup of water. After that, also it is put into a high temperatures around thirty minutes with two cups of sugar and four cups of water. The next stage is that, it poured in different containers, and last close all containers with lid then, keep it for one hour. Finally it is brought to the family to make them happy to have their breakfast.
The essay presents the steps in a logical order but lacks clear linking devices and paragraphing. The transition between steps is not smooth, and the conclusion is abrupt.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to enhance flow.
- Separate the process into clear paragraphs.
- Provide a clearer conclusion.
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. There are some attempts to use process-related terms, but inaccuracies are present.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. There is limited use of complex sentences.
The essay describes the process but lacks detail and accuracy in some steps. It does not fully achieve the task requirements.
Suggestions
- Include all steps accurately.
- Ensure quantities and actions match the diagram.
- Provide a more comprehensive overview.