Percentages of volunteers by sector, in 2008 and 2014

The pie charts provide the information about the proportions of volunteers in various sectors between 2008 and 2014.
Generally speaking, while percentages of environmental and healthcare volunteers grew significantly, the reverse was true for the other remaining sectors. Another notable change is that the environmental sector led the chart with the highest percentage.
In detail, the proportions of healthcare volunteers made up 7% initially. Regarding environmental volunteers’ proportions, it commenced with 21% in 2008. Former witnessed the dramatic increase to 25%, and when it comes to the latter, it grew considerably by 13% in 2014.
By contrast, focusing on decreased figures, volunteers in art started with 15% in 2008. The percentage of educational volunteers began at 24%. Art and educational volunteers indicated a noticeable downward trend to 12% and 8%, respectively.
Moreover, sport volunteer percentages showed a slight drop from 18% to 12% between 2008 and 2014. The percentage of other sectors began at 15%, and it underwent a moderate decline to 9%

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the progression of the essay is structured in a way that makes the information easy to follow.

Suggestions

Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more variety.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic usage. The vocabulary is used appropriately with only occasional inaccuracies.

The essay uses a wide range of structures and there are few grammatical errors. Those that do occur are ‘slips’ and do not impede communication.

The essay provides a clear overview and detailed information on the proportions of volunteers in various sectors between 2008 and 2014. The information is presented in a logical sequence with appropriate use of data.