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Some people prefer to save money. Others prefer to use their money on things they will enjoy. What is the best approach towards money? Discuss both side and give your opinion.

It is prioritized by some people to save the budget, as it builds strong confidence and would be ready for emergency funds, while others prefer to spend them without keeping it at all. In my view, it is better to take a balanced approach by using several methods of making a financial plan.
Having some amount of money in the bank account helps to be ready for emergency funds. This means that when a person saves money, they build a strong sense of confidence and would face life’s difficulties courageously. To be more specific, the world does not operate linearly, and people may have difficulties with accommodation, tires, and even having a risk of losing a job, and that already kept money would help to overcome those situations effectively. A good case would be a book called “The Psychology of Money,” where the author highlights such difficulties and the importance of keeping finance for emergency situations. Thus, saving money not only builds confidence but also helps to feel preserved in a safe zone whenever some emergencies happen in a person’s life.
From side of pleasure, it would much more enjoying to spend earned money for the desires. While people spending their money they are likely increase their dopamine offed called as happy hormone which enables them to boost their mood. Therefore, a sense of pleasure helps to reduce the level of stress and anxiety resulting better well-being. Furthermore, spending money on own needs leads to higher self-esteem where I person will love himself and prioritize himself at anywhere. According to some scientific researches, people who spends their earned money on themselves are happier compared with those who keeping money and have less serious mental problems.
Nevertheless, from my point of view, instead of choosing one of these approaches, it would be more efficient to balance them. In order to achieve that, there are some methods for effective usage of money by classifying important payments and leaving some amount of money for wants. One of them is called the 50/30/20 rule, where from 100% of the money, 50% is for needs such as rent, groceries, and debt; 30% is for pleasure and personal needs; and 20% is for saving for the future. Based on several questionnaires from scientists and business entrepreneurs who succeeded in their careers this method is highly effective, resulting in a better quality of life. Such rules are methods are millions where every person can choose the appropriate one for them, where the main purpose of it is balancing, where a person has a chance to save money and use it for their own needs like pleasure.
In conclusion, even though saving money and spending it is a question of concern where people have their own view about it, I’d say that for the best result, it is better to balance between two financial plans via different rules and methods, such as the 50/30/20 rule.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices. For example, “tires” should be “tire expenses,” and “I person” should be “a person.” Refining word choices and phrasing will improve clarity and readability. Additionally, ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will enhance the overall presentation of the essay.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “people spending their money” should be “when people spend their money,” and “a person will love himself and prioritize himself at anywhere” should be “a person will love himself and prioritize himself anywhere.” Paying closer attention to grammar and punctuation will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, ensuring consistent formatting and spacing will enhance the overall presentation of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of balancing saving and spending. The writer presents a clear explanation of the benefits of each approach and provides a practical recommendation for achieving a balance. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points, but the essay could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the concepts more effectively. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Try to develop your arguments more fully and support them with specific examples.
  • Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support that idea.