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The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015

The table gives information about proportion of children who encountered certain problems in different primary schools from 2005 to 2015.
In general, it is clear that children in school A had more problems than children in school B in both years particularly, following instructions and concentrating in lessons saw the largest proportions in 2005.
Looking at the table in school A, reading ability had almost no change during the 10 years, as well as handwriting demonstrated a stable percentage. However, spelling witnessed a slight decrease from 30-25% in 2015. Similarly, listening skills and verbal communications accounted for a decline about 10%. In addition, other problem areas such as concentration in lesson and the ability of following instructions experienced substantial fall from 42 to 18 respectively.
The problems in school B, on the other hand, saw a miner growth throughout of the year. The problem for ability of reading increased to 1% over the next 10 years. Despite, no changing in handwriting with 7%, other problems such as spelling rose from 5 to 10%. Listening skills and verbal expressions of ideas increased only 1 to 2 percent while following instructions doubled during the 10 years. However, Concentration in lessons stayed the same with 15%.

6.0

The essay is generally organized, but there are some issues with cohesion and coherence. The transitions between ideas are not always smooth, and there are occasional issues with clarity.

Suggestions
  • Use more linking words to improve flow.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
  • Clarify comparisons between the two schools.

The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety. Some word choices are inappropriate or repetitive.

There are some grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. The range of grammatical structures is limited.

The essay addresses the task and covers the main trends and comparisons. However, some details are inaccurately reported or lack clarity.

Suggestions
  • Ensure all data is accurately represented.
  • Clarify comparisons between the two schools.
  • Provide more detailed analysis of trends.