Some people state that schools should have a social responsibility to encourage children not to eat junk food. Others believe that parents should take responsibility for their children's eating habits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The question of who should take the responsibility of supervising children so as to avert them from eating junk food has lately been a matter of contention. While school authority should be a decisive supervisor in this regard, others claim that these eating patterns should be taken under control by their parents themselves. In this scenario, while the former view has the total validity to support it, I am of the view that parents should have more to do this in this respect.
Primarily, proponents of schools being responsible for students to avoid junk food cite the amount of time students pass in schools as an underlying reason. As they start to attend classes, most of their tie is booked by school lessons or extracurricular activities. Not surprisingly, in no case are parents able to allocate sufficient amount of time to supervise their children, particularly when it comes to the choice of food. Therefore, they should be taught all the drawbacks (obesity, heart diseases, and the like) that might stem from the consumption of junk food. As long as the knowledge pertaining to the disadvantages of junk food is imparted to students in school, they will stay away from taking up the habit of consuming them, which, in turn, will prove beneficial for their well-being in the long run.
On the contrary, others including me are firmly convinced that it is parents who should be genuinely responsible for avoiding junk food. Before starting school, children gain their outlook at home from their parents. Should parents embed all the beneficial habits like following healthy eating routines in their children from their young age, these children, no doubt, never bend the way. Yet, this is not to imply that schools have no any role in shaping such a behavior. The role they play in this regard is genuinely priceless. However, without proper education that should be taken from parents, school staff might find it increasingly challenging to instill virtuous habits in them. Therefore, I consider the role of parents in this sense indispensable.
To sum up, the center of debates recently has been on the view that who is responsible for forming immunity in children against junk food, with parents and teachers being the main figures in this dispute. While the role of teachers is still at work, I am more convinced that parents have more important role to play in avoiding junk food.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s position is clearly stated and supported. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to include specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.