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Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a heated debate over the roles of manufacturers and department stores and individuals in terms of reducing problems connected with plastic packages. Some argue that it is the former’s responsibility to offer fewer goods packaged with plastic while others say that people should address the issue themselves by avoiding the purchases of such products. In my opinion, the confluence of human efforts and businesses’ initiatives play a central role in solving this predicament.
Proponents of the idea that producers and shopping centers should hold the accountability for selling fewer products covered in plastic cite various reasons to support their stance. This is mainly associated with social responsibilities of businesses. When commercial organizations establish their operations, they have no choice but to use resources, such as labour, land, and raw materials, which in most cases are provided by the nature. Given the importance of these resources, it is safe to assume that every business needs to return the favour to the planet earth. One way to do so would be to solve the problem of plastic pollution through utilizing sustainable packaging materials, like edible products or paper, making them the only available choice for customers. Not only will the absence of plastic packages prompt individuals to turn to environmentally friendly products, but also it will raise awareness about issues related to the ecosystem.By contrast, failure to introduce eco-friendly packaging techniques will result in an increasing number of customers using plastic and throwing them away, ultimately precipitating a rise in ocean pollution.
Despite the factor presented above, I do not believe that busineses are the only ones to handle this situation.People have the collective power to eradicate the problems, including plastic pollution, that are interfering with their daily life. The primary reason for this is that we all are customers, whose needs businesses strive to serve, meaning if the demand for plastic packages decrease, manufacturers and shopping centers are naturally drawn to refrain from selling them. Considering the fact that businesses prioritize making profits, it comes as no surprise that they have a tendency to trade high-demand products only. Although turning to sustainable packaging techniques migth be costly, since eco-friendly products tend to have higher prices, I believe that this is a sacrifice that should be made with the intention of combatting hte issue of plastics that is bound to radically change the life on earth as we know it. Such turn of events bring about a utopian future devoid of plastic pollution, making contribution to cleaner oceans, seas and wider biodiversity in marine species.
To conclude, although both corporations and public play a crucial role in solving the issue of plastic packages, I believe that in order to maximize the effectiveness, both parties should act side by side under the same goal of building a flourishing environment.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion that restates your position. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., “Despite the factor presented above,” “To conclude”). For further improvement, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the ideas within paragraphs are logically ordered and connected to each other and to your main argument.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
  • Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. You demonstrate a good command of vocabulary with a variety of terms related to the topic (e.g., “sustainable packaging materials,” “environmentally friendly products”). Your use of language is clear and effective, with no significant issues. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider using a wider variety of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly, and to avoid repetition.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The essay demonstrates a good command of a variety of grammatical structures, with a high level of accuracy. Your use of grammar is generally excellent, with a variety of sentence structures that enhance the clarity and flow of your writing. To further improve, pay attention to the consistency of verb tenses and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Additionally, consider varying your sentence structures even more to add variety and interest to your writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. You have addressed the task effectively by presenting a clear position that both businesses and consumers have a role in reducing plastic packaging. Your introduction provides a clear roadmap for your essay, and you develop your arguments well in the body paragraphs. You also provide a clear conclusion that restates your position. To further enhance your task achievement, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments and make your position even more persuasive.

Suggestions
  • Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.