Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefi ts to society having more elderly people. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
The current demographic situation in the world is altered by an accrual in average life expectancy, including a growth in the number of older and senior people. Although older generations might continually provide knowledge and advice based on their experience, I believe there are more disadvantages to this transformation, with the main drawbacks related to further development and labor market.
Turning to the benefits, as they grow older, elder individuals have already gained more knowledge in both theory and practice. After retiring, they can have sufficient time to share their knowledge based on real-life experiences with the younger generation, helping them find the right career path and, especially, avoid making the mistakes they made in the past or providing guidance to achieve something new that they couldn’t accomplish during their lifetime. For example, around the world, many experienced physiologists give advice and write books for young people who follow them, supporting them in becoming successful.
On the other hand, the increase in life expectancy can affect further development. Since older people cannot frequently invent new technologies, they may have less creativity compared to younger people. They are often resistant to change when it comes to new ideas. Thus, despite their experience, they can hinder a country’s further development.
Furthermore, the growth in life expectancy in many countries is certain to cause problems, especially in the labor market. Many physical jobs, such as those in the metallurgy industry (coal, power, nuclear, oil, and gas), require young workers. Not only physical jobs but also mental jobs demand young people because they tend to be more active than older individuals. If older people work in physical jobs, they may face health problems, as these roles are not suitable for them. Moreover, governments should provide older people with good healthcare services, proper accommodation, and retirement benefits, even if they are not working. There is a requirement for young people in many European and Asian countries, because they are witnessing low birth rates since in 2017.
In conclusion, it is true that having older people in our lives can be advantageous, such as sharing their valuable knowledge and real-life experience. However, these benefits do not outweigh the disadvantages, such as less creativity and limited employment and physical opportunities.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of the counter-arguments.
Suggestions
- Consider including a more detailed discussion of potential counter-arguments to provide a more balanced view.