Discuss both views and give your opinion

People have differing views about whether technological advancements contribute to the reduction or growth of delinquency. While there are a few ways of preventing people from committing an offense by means of technology, I firmly believe that it maximizes the crime rate rather than quitting it.
One the one gand, technology is developing so fast that there is no need for police officeers to investigate the crime and atop the frequency of lawbreaking. Currently, Children aged 16 are being given ID(Identity Card) in which all of the information about them are in it. In one of the processes of this, their fingerprints are taken by Ultrasonic Scanner. If they were engaged in the crime, they would have easily been recognized by their fingerprints providing that they left. Subsequently, they will be more informed about it and avoid themselves of committing a crime as their possibility of getting caught is high. Therefore, proponents of this support their view strictly.
One the other hand, there is a great chance of increased crime level if the gadgets continue to advance. For wxample, everyone has mobile phones with advanced features but not all of them are masters of using them, particularly the elderly. They have their finances on their debit or Credit card which are connected to their phones. Making use of it, hackers are stealing money from them by enhanced capacities of computers, which is a sign of increasing crime rate. This is why, it is important to be cautious while using gadgets and so most people regard technologies as a gate for crimes.
In conclusion, in spite of acknowledging all the contributions of technology to minimize delinquency, I am in favor of the view that technologies create more access to crime as it causes to lose financial budget in times of need, especially if someone is damaged or ill

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and connect them back to the main point of the essay.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource, with some less common words and phrases. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common words and phrases. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary could help to strengthen the essay.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder overall clarity. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include errors in article use, subject-verb agreement, and preposition use. Proofreading the essay to correct these errors would improve its overall quality. Additionally, the use of a wider range of grammatical structures could help to make the essay more engaging and dynamic.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments made. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary could help to strengthen the essay.