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The line graph shows the unemployment rates in three countries(the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan) between 1993 and 2007.

The line graph presents data on the rates of unemployment in three areas – the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan – from 1993 to 2007.
Overall, by the end of the period, there had been the highest unemployment rates in the rest of Europe, which positioned itself second at the beginning. It is worth noting that the UK, the dominant in the unemployment rates at the start of the timeframe, reported a significant decrease progressively over time.
The situation with unemployed individuals generally faced positive changes both in the UK and the rest of Europe over the period. In other words, the figures of these two settings which had the highest proportion of unemployment in 1997 ultimately had dwindled by 2007, making up roughly 6% of unemployed people. Japan, however, accounted for relatively higher rates of unemployment in 2007, rising from a solid 2% at the beginning to around 4% at the end.
To be specific about the changes that took place between 1993 and 2007, the numbers for the rest of Europe had been gradually increasing until 1993, after which they saw a steep fall, followed by only a plateau, and lastly another similar decrease. As for the UK, it progressively declined over time, with minor pity fluctuations. Subjectively, turning to the weakest contender of the graph – Japan, the key change is likely to be that it reached its peak by approximately 4% in 2003; in other years, there were several unimportant changes that did not really have an impact on the unemployment rates.

6.5

The essay follows a logical structure but lacks clear paragraphing and transitions between ideas.

Suggestions
  • Use clear paragraphing to separate different points.
  • Add linking words to improve flow between sentences.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary but includes some awkward phrasing and repetition.

The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures but contains some inaccuracies and awkward constructions.

The essay addresses the task and includes relevant data, but some key details are missing or inaccurately represented.

Suggestions
  • Ensure all key data points are accurately represented.
  • Provide a clearer overview of trends and comparisons.