Some people think that the best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. Others believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words in response to this question, presenting arguments for both sides and concluding with your own perspective.

According to some people, In order to improve the quality of education, governments should increase the amount in salaries of tutors. Opponents, however, argue that it is a better way to enhance the facilities of the schools. Both views are rational in their own ways, but I would agree with the later group of people.
On the one hand, there are some reasons why it is advised to increase the salaries of the teachers. Firstly, Unless the government raises the amount in the salaries of the teachers, there can be a change in the performance of tutors to teach children efficiently. As a consequence, teachers teach children with effective ways to learn faster and efficiently. Another argument could be the change of strictness while teaching students in the lesson. This could make improvement in learning lessons effectively by the children.
On the other hand, it could be better to enhance the facilities of the educational areas in order to make improvements in the quality of education. Of course, if the government provides necessary items to the schools, there can be alteration in the condition of learning. For instance, most of the schools didn’t have smart TVs in the rooms, and it is necessary to describe the lessons like biology. Moreover, It is needed to provide schools with lunchrooms. Because, most of the scientists say that unless people are hungry, they cannot learn anything efficiently. Thus, it is necessary to improve the facilities of the schools.
To sum up, while there is some truth to the idea that the increase of salaries,I believe that the improvement in the facilities of the schools are more reasonable.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument less easy to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can be unclear. More explicit signposting language could help to make the structure of the essay more obvious to the reader, and to improve the overall coherence. Additionally, more explicit linking of the main points to the central argument could help to make the essay more cohesive.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. More precise and varied vocabulary could help to improve the lexical resource score. Additionally, more attention to word form and spelling could help to further demonstrate a strong lexical resource.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are some instances of incorrect verb forms and sentence structures, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. More attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and sentence structure, could help to improve the grammatical range and accuracy score. Additionally, more varied sentence structures could help to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples and arguments. The writer effectively discusses the reasons for both perspectives and provides a reasoned conclusion, which demonstrates an understanding of the task. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places, and more specific examples could help to strengthen the position. More explicit linking of the main points to the central argument could help to further demonstrate a strong task response.