There have been some problems with the public transport you use to commute daily. Write a letter to the manager of the public transport company. In your letter: • describe the problems • explain how these problems are affecting you and others • suggest what could be done about it
Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with public transport and have some problems with my daily commute.I am hoping that you can help to solve my issues in order to utilize better than last days
I have been living in this city for two years.So I have to go to the office every day in order to provide a key for the employees.The work starts at seven o’clock that I shouldn’t be late from this time.But I have observing some problems the depends with public transport despite they are working. Unfortunately, due to the fact that they are late, many people are suffering this condition because they may bring heavy punishment from their office.
To solve these issues,I have some advice for improvement as soon as possible for you.You should dramatically increase bus drivers’ salary in order to not bring complaints from residents,despite having modern buses.I believe that you can organize these problems before people arise to refer on big organizations.
I am hoping that this message finds you well and looking forward to your reply with solutions.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The letter is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the information. However, there are some issues with coherence, as the ideas are not always clearly connected. For example, the transition from discussing public transport issues to suggesting solutions is a bit abrupt. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to better guide the reader through your arguments.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. Your letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “public transport,” “dissatisfaction,” and “punishment from office.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that can be distracting. For example, “I have been living in this city for two years” could be more concisely phrased as “I have been living in this city for the past two years,” and “I have some advice for improvement” could be more formally phrased as “I have some recommendations for improvement.”
The essay has a mix of simple and complex sentences, and the grammatical structures are mostly accurate. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The letter demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can affect the clarity of your message. For example, “I have been living in this city for two years” is correct, but “the depends with public transport despite they are working” is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement, preposition use, and article use can help improve the grammatical accuracy of your writing.
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples. You have clearly stated your purpose to address issues with public transport and suggest improvements. However, the letter could be more effective by providing specific examples of the problems and how they impact your daily commute. Additionally, the recommendations could be more detailed and practical to increase the likelihood of their implementation.
Suggestions
- Include specific examples of the problems you are experiencing with public transport to make your concerns more tangible.
- Provide detailed and practical recommendations to address these issues.