Task 2. Question: In many cities, problem related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging business and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of his trend outweigh the disadvantage?
All over the cities, population is increasing day by day and becoming more common. As a result, some governments are going to encouraging humans and business to move out of cities to countryside. It has several for and against sides.
One on hand, overpopulation is becoming more common, so that’s why, governments are encouraging to individuals in order to move other rural areas. In my opinion this is not bad condition, because, some countries are modernizing by overpopulation. To example, some states have no enough population so, they are not developing the cause of no more people. May be, humans might be rich or successful person then, due to the popular person, his or her country might be modernizing and famous state just like Uzbekistan. Furthermore, countryside would be great places for live and in the future that places will be develop.
One the other hand, that subject has several disadvantage sides. For example, if the population is growing. This is a big problem for country and government. Other sides some country have no enough places, foods and drinking water for extra humans.
The essay is somewhat organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices. The essay is somewhat organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is a bit abrupt, and the connection between some ideas is not clear. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices such as linking words and pronouns is somewhat confusing, which affects the overall coherence of the essay. Overall, the essay needs better organization and clearer connections between ideas to improve its coherence and cohesion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas.
- Make sure to use pronouns and synonyms to refer back to the same concept.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that affect the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. For example, the phrase “Encouraging humans and business to move out of cities to countryside” is awkward and should be rephrased. Additionally, the term “states” is used incorrectly in the context of countries. Overall, the essay needs to improve its use of vocabulary and ensure that it is using the correct terminology for the given context.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The overall grammatical range is quite basic, with some attempts to use more complex structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. For example, the use of “states” instead of “countries” is incorrect, and the term “overpopulation” is used in a somewhat confusing manner. Additionally, there are several errors in verb tense and agreement. Overall, the essay needs to improve its grammatical accuracy and ensure that it is using the correct grammatical structures.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument is not fully developed and there are some inconsistencies in the position taken. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the trend of overpopulation in cities and the encouragement of people and businesses to move to rural areas by some governments. However, the essay does not take a clear position on the issue and instead presents a mix of both sides’ arguments. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat unclear and could be more effectively linked. Additionally, the body paragraphs could be more clearly structured to present a cohesive argument. Overall, the essay needs to take a clearer position on the issue and ensure that the arguments presented are consistent and well-developed.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you take a clear position on the issue and maintain consistency throughout the essay.
- Develop your arguments more fully and provide specific examples to support your points.