The graph shows the rates of participation in three different activities in a UK sports club between 1995 and 2015 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about the percentages of participating in three various pursuits in a UK sports club from 1995 to 2015.
Overall, it can be seen that gym activities saw a tangible upward trend, whereas swimming experienced completely opposite trend. In addition, team sports almost remained stable ,despite they witnessed a steady rising trend.
Team sports’ participating rate remained unchanged over the first 5-year-period, with 30 percent. Then, there was a moderate growth in those numbers, with rising to 40% between 2000 and 2010. However, it dropped modestly to 30%, returned its initial rate over the next 5-year-period. Gym activities’ participation proportion saw a slight increase from 1995 to 2000, with rising to 10% from roughly 5 percent. In addition, it reached substantially close to 30% from 2000 to 2010. There was a subtle drop within the last 5 years, with fall to approximately 25%.
Swimming witnessed a moderate decline in the number of participation, with dropping to around 43% from exactly 50 percent from 1995 to 2000. In addition, there was a dramatic dip in those numbers to about 15 percent between 2000 and 2010. It remained stable with roughly 15% by 2015.
The essay is logically organized and the information flows well. The introduction and overview are clear and the body paragraphs are well-structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to make the relationships between ideas more clear.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more precise comparisons.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details about the data, such as the exact participation rates for each activity in each year.
- Make more precise comparisons between the different activities and their participation rates.