Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate over, which technology increases can effect to decrease crimes, while others think that, actually this development can encourage to crime. Although, there ara arguments justifying the extravagance. I believe absolutely that, development of technology can help to decrease crime.
Some people think that, technology development can open opportunities because at present, world is modernizing at the same time hacking too. Such as, Nowadays, a lot of hackers are lying people and they are hacking money from their cards and also personal accounts. The worst thing is that, they are also stealing money from banks. They are main reasons for thinking like technology development can open doors for lawbreakers.
Others think that, however, development of technology can help to police officers who are supporting my idea. Because, even if hackers develop, cyber security officers can also develop. Not only that, I think developing technologies can sit to the place of police officers and I think they are faster and effective than humanity. Such as, they are stronger and they can work 24 hours for every day. The meaning that, this can provide safety.
In conclusion, some people think modernizing world can give opportunities for stealers, such as, for hackers, however, others believe that, technologies can help to police officers to find criminals and I think so to the last idea.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can be unclear. More effective use of cohesive devices and a clearer connection between ideas would improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that can make the meaning unclear. More accurate and varied vocabulary would improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the use of grammatical structures. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the use of grammatical structures. These errors can sometimes make the meaning unclear or the sentence difficult to understand. More practice with complex sentence structures and a focus on grammatical accuracy would improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear position, but the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The conclusion could also be more substantial. More specific examples and a more detailed explanation of the arguments would strengthen the essay.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.