Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefi ts to society having more elderly people. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
Nowadays, there is a fact that people are living longer and longer, number of people who reached 100 years old are rapidly growing around the world. So, group of people say that too elder people are causing issues for governments, while others tent to think that ageing population are beneficial for society and they can help. So there is several advantages and disadvantages of people being too old, pluses like giving wisdom advices and strengthening family and disadvantages as, too much healthcare to them and risk of being alone.
In today’s society ageing population is a very common question, some think that it is good, some does not. So, people who think it is beneficial, could say that old people are always wise and their wisdom advice for youngsters would be very valuable. People who aged 70 or more are seen more than a half of the 20th century and because of that they can tell a lot of mistakes from the past that government or themselves made, so young generation would not do it again. Also when the oldest family is alive, their children often come to them and in the process of seeing parent, they also meet sibling, this strengthening the family structure. For example, If brother and sisters go to see their old father or mother once a week in Sunday, they in process meet each other, while then when parents pass away, it will be great, if they would meet at least once a month.
But, too old people is a problem for governments, due to the fact that government should spend a lot on the paying pensions to this people and also spending on their health. For instance, in Uzbekistan people retire at 65 years old, so if they lived until 100 years old, government would pay pensions in 35 years each month. Also being in aged people list requires a lot of care from family of that person. But not every wants to or can look out old person, so a lot od aged people around the world live alone and fell disconnected. 90 years old man would have children aged 25-30 years old less than him, at this age people cannot care about other people because they need to care about themselves, and a lot of grandchildren do not want to watch after their grand parents, so this causes isolation problem.
To conclude, ageing population is crucial theme in our modern world, because number of aged people are growing rapidly. So living long causes more disadvantages than advantages, because there seen only mental advantages, while disadvantages have negative effect on governments and old person himself because of isolation.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas is not always clear. More explicit signposting language could help to improve the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your position.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource, with a variety of vocabulary used effectively to convey the intended meaning. However, there are some instances of inaccurate or inappropriate word choice, which could be addressed to improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language could help to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues that could be addressed to improve the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language could help to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of the ideas and by addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed exploration of the ideas and address potential counterarguments more thoroughly.
- Make the conclusion more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly restating your position.