The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
The given image illustrates how to prepare sugare from sugar cane and also manufacturing steps. Overall, what can be seen from the diagram is that the process involves 7 stages from growing a special plant to gain prepared sugar. Harvesting requires both trans port and human efforts. In the first step, sugar cane should be planted during 12 -18 month until it is usable. Next stage called “Harvesting”. In this process plants are gathered by both farmers and vehicles, Then we move to crushing section, in there all canes are squeezed for taking its juice. Forth stage involves filtering juice with the help of the limestone filter .
Purified juice then move to evaporator, in there it is heated until it becomes syrup with high temperature. Stage 6 called centrifuge” which uses for dividing sugar crystals from syrup. Finally with cooling and drying that suger crystals, the sugar preparing of process ends.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the process. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary that is generally appropriate for the task. However, there are some issues with word choice and spelling.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader.
The essay provides a detailed description of the process shown in the diagram. The essay clearly outlines each step of the process, from the growth of the sugar cane to the production of sugar. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed explanation of some of the steps and by using more technical language where appropriate.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed explanation of the process, where possible, to demonstrate a deeper understanding.
- Use more technical language where appropriate to demonstrate a higher level of proficiency.