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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People have always studied their environment from the beginning. The curiosity has attracted people to experiment, invent and solve. A margin of scientists worked their whole life on subjects to understand the world better. Some of these scientists invented bombs, war planes, and tanks for countries to win wars. There are also scientists that are working on cures, machines and theories to offer humans a better life. I think science and scientists must focus on matters that would increase the quality of living. Very good introduction. You give background, focus on the question and then give a clear opinion.
Throughout the history, states have experimented to invent machines for conflicts. For instance, in the Second World War, Germany has invented over a 100 rocket prototypes, fighter planes and tanks. In order to achieve the victory in battles. The other countries also studied war industry to prevent Germany from invading the whole world. Therefore, billions of dollars and hours of research were spent on wartime industry. These inventions eventually killed nearly 100 million people around the globe. Thus, it is undeniable that science can be devastating.
Although science destructed communities in a period of time, the most of the time it is focused on health, construction and transportation, which provided a reasonable life. For example, scientists such as Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Stephen Hawking studied Physics their whole life. They wrote theories which explains the rule of the nature. There are also scientists that concentrated on medicine to cure illnesses. To illustrate, Alexander Fleming found Penicillin, which solved many kidney diseases. Add a concluding sentence : Consequently, it shows that science can really boost civilisation.
To conclude, I firmly believe that it is ludicrous to argue that science should mainly focus on any subject other than medicine. Health problems are the cause of many deaths. Thus, scientists should definitely focus on curing illnesses and improving treatments.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall stance.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that could be revised for clarity. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. However, there are a few minor errors in verb tense and preposition usage that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and restating the writer’s position.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly restates your position.