Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both and give your opinion.
There is a debate over when people are allowed to drink, with some saying that the government has to set up some rules related to consuming alcoholic products, others claiming drinking should not be strictly prohibited at any age. In my opinion the government should establish rules for it
Proponents of forbidding alcohol consumption think that it leads to protecting public health. Alcohol is linked to a variety of health problems, including liver disease, addiction and mental health issues. Early exposure to alcohol increases that risk of
long-term issues. For example the legal drinking age should be set at 18 or 21. As this prevents young people from drinking before their bodies are fully developed. This regulation helps reduce the likelihood of addiction and health problems related to excessive drinking.
On the other hand, disadvantages of prohibiting consuming alcohol should not be overlooked, with the main one breaking personal freedoms. It is believed that individuals should have the right to make their own decisions about alcohol consumption without government’s influence
In my opinion, in addition to health issues, alcohol consumption is also associated with road accidents. Alcohol slows down brain functions, affecting decision-making and slowing reaction times. A driver under the influence may fail to notice dangerous on time on misjudged distances. For example, a driver who consumed alcohol might not brake in time to avoid red light, it may cause an accident
To sum up, drinking alcohol has its advantages such as providing freedom. In my point of view, it is betyer to regulate alcohol consuption age and government should introduce obligation for drinking
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas is not always clear. More explicit signposting language could help to improve the overall cohesion and coherence of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent and appropriate.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language could help to enhance the academic tone of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall interest and effectiveness of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in punctuation and spelling, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Proofreading for these errors is recommended.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with more specific examples. The conclusion could also be strengthened by providing a more definitive statement of the personal opinion.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support the arguments.
- Strengthen the conclusion by providing a more definitive statement of the personal opinion.