The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to gyms once a month or more between 1990 and 2010.
The line graph illustrates the different age brackets of Europeans who went to the gym at least once a month from 1990 to 2010
Overall, it appears that, at the beginning of the period, all age categories preferred less. There was a consistently growing in the proportions of all age groups, except for the 18-24 age brackets. Although 18-24 age group showed the highest proportion during the given period
The proportion of the 18-24 age category started at approximately 8% and experienced a dramatic increase to 60% from 1990 to 2006. At the end of the period, it remained unchanged at this rate. Regarding the 25-34 age group, it started at 10%. The percentage of 25-34 age group witnessed only consistently rising by 40% during the given period.
The 35-44 age category approximately increased by 15% from 5% to 20% between 1990 and 2006.Then it showed an upward trend to 40%. For the 45 and over age group, percentages made up 1% in 1990. After increasing to 5% in 2004, it grew by 5% until the end of the period.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding generalizations.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and data to support your statements.
- Avoid generalizations and make sure to address all parts of the task.