Checer
Dear Sor orMadam,
I am writing to express my interest to your advertisement which demads officer in your restaurant located near my flat.
To be honest, I have experience from this job almost 3 years and I also have qualifications.Recently,I went to my new flat and so I leave my job in restaurant at the Tashkent.When I come to the Fergana,I researched a job for part-time,since I am studying in university of Fergana.3 days ago,I saw the your job advertisement in local magazine and I am writing to this letter at the time.
I ask some experience that I can speak 3 languages and communicate with international guests Moreover, I learned culinary lessons and now I have been cooking international and national meals.
If you accept me to this occupation, I will work a part-time from 8.am to 12am reason of my university.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Mohira Anvarova.
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the use of linking words and cohesive devices is somewhat inaccurate, making the overall flow of the essay a bit disjointed. The essay lacks logical progression in some parts, and the use of pronouns and references is confusing.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices and ensure correct usage to improve the flow of your essay.
- Make sure your paragraphs have a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay sometimes uses informal language or direct translation from the native language, which may affect the overall quality of the writing. There are some spelling errors that need to be addressed.
The essay shows an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can hinder understanding. The essay sometimes uses incorrect verb forms or direct translation from the native language, which may affect the overall quality of the writing. There are some errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage that need to be addressed.
The essay addresses the task by expressing interest in the job and providing relevant information about the applicant’s experience and qualifications. The essay provides the necessary details about the applicant’s background, experience, and availability. However, the essay could benefit from more specific details and examples to support these points. The essay also needs to provide more information about why the applicant is interested in this job and how her qualifications and experience make her a good fit for the role.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your points and provide sufficient support for your arguments.
- Try to provide specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and help you meet the word count requirement.