Some people believe that schools should focus more on practical skills rather than academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, some people hold the belief that practical skills should be taught at schools rather than academic subjects. This essay will discuss the extent to which I agree or disagree with this viewpoint. Although focusing more on hands-on skills has merits, I believe that pupils should also learn academic subjects.
On the one hand, those who support the notion that schools teach pupils more practical skills have a point. Since we now live in a competitive society, employers now value candidates with decent experience. Therefore, white-collar jobs require not only theoretical knowledge but also practical skills. In other words, if one wants to earn more money in these jobs, he or she must have work experience. That is the reason why some people have come to think that schools should teach their pupils about more practical skills which helps them to find high-paying jobs.
On the other hand, mastering academic subjects is equally important, however. As we’re living in a technology-driven world, having theoretical knowledge may guarantee a bright future. In fields like mathematics and astronomy, students must have massive knowledge rather than practical skills if they want to be scientists or teachers. Hence, earning academic subjects at schools is the integral part of education. Moreover, mastering these subjects can allow school graduates to enroll universities successfully. Since all universities have entrance exams which are particularly challenging, pupils must be taught academic subjects at school.
To sum up, while focusing more on practical skills presents certain benefits such as high likelihood of finding white-collar jobs, there are merits to studying academic subjects. By having theoretical knowledge, students can become scientists teachers along with opportunity to enter the top universities. Therefore, schools should strive to strike a balance between focusing on hands-on skills and academic subjects.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more varied and sophisticated use of language to convey complex ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more varied and sophisticated use of language to convey complex ideas more effectively.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal stance. The writer presents relevant examples to support their points and ensures that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments and by ensuring that each paragraph is fully developed.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph is fully developed and focused on a single main idea.