The table below shows the monthly expenditure of an average Australian family in 1991 and 2001.
The statistics provides an information about the monthly consumption of average Australian family in given years. In general, between 1991 and 2001, Food, electricity, housing, water and other goods usage have grown, while other units show the fall in prices.
As it illustrated, Electricity and water expenditure surged the most in amount, rising from 75 dollars per month to 120 (nearly twice to the original number). Food ad housing also shows the increase of its consumption, 5 dollars for each of them, from 155 dollars to 160 for the former and from 95 to 100 for the latter. Moreover, Other goods and services went up in its usage, changing from 250 to 270 dollars monthly.
However, Transport and clothing spending decreased. Former showed the most significant change, dropping from 70 dollars to 45 for month, latter instead, declined less, from 30 dollars in 1991 to 20 in 2001. Whereas, total price of all increased from 675 dollars per month in early period to 715 to the later one, according to the table given.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The writer uses a range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases effectively. However, there are a few instances where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all information in the paragraph is relevant to that topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where the choice of tense or the use of articles is incorrect.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes appropriate comparisons where necessary. The key features and significant trends are identified and supported with relevant data. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis and by making more specific comparisons.
Suggestions
- Try to provide a more detailed analysis of the information presented and make more specific comparisons.
- Use a wider range of structures to discuss the data in more depth.