The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph gives the information about the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
Overall, both openings and closures are declined during the 7 years, however openings declined more than clousers
In 2011 the figures of openings were approximately 8500. After one year the figures dramaricly falled less than 4000 and it maked difference from 2011. During 2012 and 2014 the figures gradually increased and the numbers compiled above than 6000. Throughout 2014 and 2015 the numbers also declined to 4000 and after 2015 to 2017 the numbers temporary leveled out then through one year from 2017 to 2018 the numbers falled slightly, in total, figures in the end were 3000
Closures in 2011 were about 6300 and in one year the amount of closures decreased on 300 and from 2012 to 2013 the numbers rised from 6000 to approximately 7100. In 2013 numbers falled slightly through one year and in 2014 the numbers falled tremendously, moreover the one from 2015 to 2016 increased dramatically. Then in 2016 the figures were above 5000 and through 2 years the changes were infinitesimal and still became the same as it was in 2016
The essay lacks a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. There are some attempts at linking information, but the connections are often unclear or awkward.
Suggestions
- Organize the essay into clear paragraphs.
- Use linking words to show relationships between ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay shows limited range of vocabulary with several spelling errors. Some words are used inappropriately or repetitively.
There are frequent grammatical errors that impede understanding. The range of grammatical structures is limited.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and clear comparisons. Some important data from the graph is not mentioned.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points from the graph.
- Make clear comparisons between openings and closures.
- Provide a more detailed analysis of trends.