The charts below show the proportion of holidaymakers using four different types of accomadation in three different years.
The pie charts provide a breakdown of the percentages of holidaymaker accessing various types of accommodation in three individual years 1988,1998,2008.Overall,the proportion of holidaymakers who used rented apartment and hotels saw an increase.While the reverse was true for the percentages of camping and staying with family.
Focusing on decreases first,the holidaymakers figure for staying with family accounted for 52% in 1988.After this the percentage rose to 54% in 1998 before falling back to 44% in 2008.
15% holidaymakers opted for camping in 1988.This was followed by a considerable decrease to 13% and 12% in turn in 1998 and 2008.
When it comes to the increases,there was a little dicrepancy between the shares of rented apartmed and hotels,the former accounted for 7% ,the figure for the latter was 15% in 1988.The figure for holidaymakers that chose hotels increased to 22% in 1998 and this percentage levelled off in the next year.The number of people who tend to accomade in rented apartment made up 11% and this figure doubled in the final year.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of an attempt to use less common and more complex language. However, there are some inaccuracies and the use of certain words and phrases is a bit awkward.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but these do not impede communication.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more precise comparisons.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and make more precise comparisons.
- Consider the implications of the data and provide a more in-depth analysis.