Studying abroad can provide students with better education and job opportunities. However, it can also lead to significant financial challenges. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that studying abroad can open a door for better education and job perspectives. But sometimes it comes at the cost of economical instability. I do not approve of this opinion and I believe studying abroad is worth the hustle it brings.
The main reason why many consider studying abroad not worthwhile and waste of funds is that there is a plethora of factors involved in the process. Firs of all, migrating to foreign country for studying can cost significant amount of money which not many people have pleasure to possess. Living expense itself can put the young adults who are only started managing their own financial situation in a very poor condition. Adding student loans on top of that make the entire situation even worse. Since most foreign students are in charge of their own life, they can rely on their relatives to thrive. Even if they end up graduating, majority of people cannot stand the competitiveness of the workplace and loose all of their hope to have lucrative life in a better place and in worst case scenario they come back to their motherland.
These mentioned downsides cannot overshadow the advantages of studying abroad. Most students who want to study abroad usually target prestigious universities which have respectable reputation all over the world. Being enrolled in these educational communities means students will be able to access invaluable information that are not available in most universities. Moreover, many top-notch universities employ world-class professors who are quite prominent throughout the world by their contribution to the society and science. Gaining insight from them is once in a lifetime opportunity that most students should treasure. Apart from these, foreign universities create opportunity for setting network among other students who come from different background. By creating a web of communication, students can get to know important people who may present them with opportunities to work in big companies. It is true to admit that after graduation many students will have thousands of dollars in debt, but they also will have better career choices. They can easily cover all the expenses and compensate these in no time since they can get high salary jobs relaying on their qualifications.
In conclusion, although studying abroad can burden students with extra costs and make their working experience a bit hard, on the other hand it can give them a chance to learn from the best specialists in the field and help them to establish connections with reputable people.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “Firs of all” should be “First of all,” and “loose” should be “lose.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. For example, “Being enrolled in these educational communities means students will be able to access invaluable information that are not available in most universities” should be “Being enrolled in these educational communities means students will be able to access invaluable information that is not available in most universities.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the financial challenges and the benefits of studying abroad. The writer presents a clear stance, arguing that the benefits outweigh the challenges. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support these points. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully and support them with specific examples.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.