Many people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Car accidents is a major problem faced by communities worldwide and because of this, every moment millions of lives are at risk of being dead or injured. To prevent this issue as well to improve safety in roads, some suggest to increase the minimum legal driving age. While doing so may reduce the number of accidents significantly, I believe that there are other steps that can be taken to alleviate the situation.
Advocators of an increase in minimum driving age believe that younger drivers are mostly prone to cause car accidents due to their careless driving, interest in speeding or racing at nights which, in turn, may lead to severe road incidents. Moreover, with this behavior they not only put their life at risk but the passengers, pedestrians on the roads crossing it as they have not shaped their decision-making skills fully in risky situations. For that reason, by increasing minimum legal age, some believe that good results can be achieved.
Although the idea of doing so may seem logical, more people, including myself, are of the opinion that the real problem is not associated with age indeed but with the lack of training given to drivers during the study period. To be precise, there is no any fact that claims every car accident is linked with younger drivers as it may happen to everyone regardless of age. For example, elder people with poor training and habitually reckless driving skills can also be a responsible for car crashes. Therefore, it would be better if governments organized trainings to improve the education of drivers by explaining what their carelessness in roads may bring about to themselves and the society as well.
To conclude, although youngsters are blamed in disproportionally high number of accidents because of their age, I hold the view that to improve the road safety, officials should mainly pay attention to educate all the drivers regardless of their age.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Additionally, the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points you have made in the essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the arguments more effectively.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, with a good balance of simple and complex sentences. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the arguments more effectively.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the arguments for and against raising the minimum driving age and providing a clear personal opinion. The essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments, such as the potential for younger drivers to cause accidents due to their careless driving habits. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of the potential benefits of raising the minimum driving age, such as increased safety for all road users. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reinforcing the personal stance taken in the essay.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide sufficient support for your points.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to make your essay more comprehensive.