Pie chart
The pie chart shows the figures of holidaymakers using for four variety types of accommodation in three different years: 1988, 1998 and 2008. Overall, In a period of three years, rented apartment and hotels were chosen by holidaymakers proportions increased noticeably, however, all these years, the figures of holidaymakers who chose used staying with family and camping dropped gradually.
The figure of holidaymakers who chose used camping decreased considerably from 26% to 13% in 1988 and 1998 years, this was followed by another descent to 12% in 2008. Holidaymakers who chose staying with family showed slight increase from 52% to 54% in 1988 and 1998 years, however, in 2008, the proportion of holidaymakers who chose using stayed with family decreased significantly to 44%.
Holidaymakers who chose using rented apartment rose minimally from 7% to 11% in 1988 and 1998 years, and next decades this figures increased noticeably to 22% in 2008. In 1988 and 1998 years, holidaymakers who chose using hotels improved from 15% to 22%, however, next decades this percentages did not change at all.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The writer uses appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas and make the writing flow smoothly. However, there are a few areas where the use of cohesive devices could be improved for better clarity and flow.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing and make the relationships between ideas more explicit.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and uses some complex sentences. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb tense or subject-verb agreement that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the pie chart and makes appropriate comparisons where necessary. The writer describes the trends in the data and provides specific details to support the analysis. However, the writer could improve the task achievement by ensuring that all parts of the prompt are addressed and by providing a more detailed analysis of the data.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed and that the analysis is as detailed as possible. This will help to provide a more comprehensive and nuanced understanding of the data.