Fewer young people play sports and exercise these days. Why is this? What are the effects of this?
It is believed that the number of youngsters who play sports and exercise is decreasing nowadays. This problem can be attributed to several factors, and I think it has mainly negative effects.
Because of developing technological devices, children are being addicted to modern gadgets. On a daily basis, they play computer games, watch short videos, and this gives them instant gratification which makes young people less sensitive to dopamine—the hormone of pleasure. Having consumed cheap dopamine, brains make them play and watch more. As a result, they do not play physical games because these sports are demanding and it is hard to get dopamine from them.In addition, teenagers may have no time due to high demand of parents in academic side. Parents want their children to be academically successful, so they have to study a lot, read books, attend special courses. Then, this busy schedule leaves little time for young adults to spend outdoors or do exercise. Even if they find time to go out, they feel mentally exhausted and want to rest.
There are several effects to children. After some time, children may have health problems because of a sedentary lifestyle and obesity. Inactive lifestyles lead to cardiovascular diseases and risks will increase.
Moreover, in this way, youngsters lose opportunities to learn necessary skills such as communication, teamwork, and collaboration skills. After losing these skills, they feel less disciplined and lazy because of lack of negotiation and communication with others. In the future, they cannot manage their time and their productivity will be low.
To conclude, this problem is caused by instant gratification and busy lifestyles and affects the health and morals of children.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
The essay effectively addresses all parts of the task. The writer’s position is clear and supported by relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.