Fewer young people play sports and exercise these days. why? what are the effects?
In the modern world, the number of young people who engage in sports and exercise is decreasing. This problem can be attributed to its negative effects on their health and lifestyles.
There are several reasons why fewer young people participate in physical activities. First of all, they are addicted to modern technological gadgets, which means they prefer to play video games and watch short videos. This behavior leads to instant gratification, making them less sensitive to dopamine (the hormone of pleasure). As a result, their brains adapt to finding easy dopamine through games or videos rather than from challenging activities.Another reason is that they don’t have enough time to spend on sports because their parents focus on their academic success. Children are often required to study more, read books, and attend special courses, leaving little time for outdoor activities or exercise. Even when children find free time after mental tasks, they usually prefer to rest.
This situation leads to several negative effects on children. Firstly, they may face health problems such as obesity due to a sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise. Obesity increases the risk of cardiovascular diseases and other health issues.Secondly, children lose opportunities to develop essential skills like communication, teamwork, and collaboration. Team sports help children negotiate, communicate effectively, and develop discipline. Additionally, young adults who don’t participate in sports miss out on learning how to manage their time and improve productivity.
To conclude, without participating in sports and exercise, young people are more likely to face health problems and lose valuable opportunities to learn communication and social skills.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your sentences are not too long or complex, which can sometimes make your writing less clear.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.