As transport and accomodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas

In recent years, some problems like traffic congestion and lack of housing have increased significantly. Some responsible government associations to this problem offer opportunities to the companies which moved to villages. In my opinion, the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages.
On the one hand, there are several disadvantages of encouraging moving rural areas. Firstly, it might be uncomfortable for workers of the company. Since, going work and coming back home may take hours. It is true that some companies establish bus service in order to create convenience for employees. But, it does not mean that special busses make distance shorter. Secondly, final product should be delivered by trucks which mean companies should hire extra workers and buying transport, such as drivers and trucks. As a consequence, relocated companies’ expense rises.
On the other hand, despite the negative aspects mentioned above, there are more positive sides of this tendency. One clear upside for this is urbanization. Moving companies to rural areas can cause to boost economic condition of that village. It is not only a chance to raise potential of village, but also it serves to develop economy of the country too. In addition, transferring businesses would be effective approach to solve gridlock which happens in big cities and it would be way to use every space of sparsely populated areas by building structures of companies in the country. For instance, South Korea is transferring branches of big companies to mountain zones. I think that is one of the useful ways to contribute to the development of the country and solving problems that governments are facing like traffic jam and accommodation problems.
In conclusion, although there are clear disadvantages, such as including transport expenses, the positive sides of relocating companies can be great way to this.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain reader interest. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of relocating businesses to rural areas. The writer presents a clear position that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and provides relevant examples to support the argument. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of the topic and by offering more specific examples to support the arguments.