Fewer young people play sports and exercise these days. Why is this? What are the effects of this?
A young who regular exercise with sport is decrease activity day by day. I think this problem can be attributed to several human factors and it has mainly negative effects.
The rise of digital entertainment has led many young individuals to choose screen-based activities over physical sports. Firstly, children are addicted to social media and gaming, and they like the fact that they get more instant gratification from this thing, and they choose a simple and easy way by giving up sports. This is because a person has just entered the sport has to do a lot of work at first, few people know that they will see results later, but sports have always been hard work. For example, when he goes to football training, the boy knows very little, and the coach teaches him and after some time prepares him for competitions. In the meantime, that boy will be very hardworking. In addition, some parents don’t create time for their children to do exercise sport. Parents are more focused on different study. They want to entering high academic standards and they will demand their children. While children to have better performance than their peers. And what their parents want, children spend more time for extra lessons.
There are also negative aspects of not playing sports. Physical health, the decline in sports participation also affects mental well-being. Sports are known to reduce stress and anxiety levels while promoting a sense of accomplishment and self-esteem. Without engaging in such activities, young people may experience increased levels of anxiety and depression, which can harm their overall quality of life. Finally, sports help to improve cognitive functions, regulate physical activity. It was proven to enhance focus, time management and even academic performance. Young individuals who neglect sports might miss out on these benefits, which could impact their overall development.
In conclusion, the decline in sports participation among young people has far-reaching consequences on their physical health, mental well-being, and personal growth. The usage of technology has been increasing among young people.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some issues with sentence structure.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. In the second body paragraph, you could provide an example of a study that has found a link between physical activity and mental well-being. In the third body paragraph, you could provide an example of a young person who has experienced a decline in sports participation and has faced negative consequences as a result.