table
The table compares two primary schools in terms of the proportions of their pupils who experienced seven different educational problems in the years 2005 and 2015.
It is noticeable that school A had higher proportions of children with all seven educational difficulties in both years. However, while school A managed to reduce the incidence of most of the problems between 2005 and 2015, school B saw an overall rise in the percentage of children who were struggling.
In 2005, 42% of school A’s pupils found it difficult to follow instructions, whereas only 6% of pupils in school B experienced this problem. Similarly, between 30 and 40 per cent of children attending school A had problems in the areas of spelling, listening, verbal expression and concentration in lessons, while the equivalent figures for school B stood at between 5 and 15 per cent.
In 2015, the difference between the two schools was less pronounced. Notably, the proportion of children who struggled to follow instructions fell by 24% in school A, and this school also saw falls of 22%, 15%, 14% and 5% in the figures for children who had problems with concentration, listening, verbal expression and spelling. In school B, however, the proportion of children who struggled with spelling and following instructions doubled, to 10% and 12% respectively, and there was almost no change in the incidence of listening, verbal or concentration problems.
The essay is well-organized with a clear comparison between the two schools over the two years. The use of cohesive devices is effective, contributing to the overall flow of the essay.
Suggestions
- Consider adding a concluding sentence to summarize the main findings.
A good range of vocabulary is used accurately, with appropriate use of comparative language.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
The essay effectively addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear and accurate comparison of the data.