In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
There are students who live with their family at home while they study in some countries, However in other countries students take part in unversity in another city.
Nowadays some students live with their family at home, this is beneficial becouse parents always countrol their children. I think students who live with their family can be specielize in the fure becouse everytime parent will support their children when children get difficult tasks. Regarding, there are many students in a particular country this is reward becouse students work belong to government after graduating.
On the other hand, some students study to come from another county and they may definetely achieve their goals but there are disadventages. Many students spend much money to study abroad and they can not study well, becouse they do not have anough money. Some parents can not give money their children who study in another countries. However some students who study in another countries to be mental strongly in the future becouse they underdo bad events and I think they will never stop till they reach their goals.
In conclusion, if students study in another cities they can reach their goals but there are less students. But more and more students can not study in other cities becouse they miss their family and they do not have anough money.
The essay is somewhat organized and the progression of ideas is evident, but there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs could be improved for better cohesion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary with some attempts at using more complex language. However, there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrases that detract from the overall clarity. Additionally, the use of synonyms is limited, and some words are repeated frequently.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder understanding. Additionally, there are some issues with word form and spelling that can also impact the overall clarity.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the benefits and drawbacks of both living with family while studying and living independently in another city. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point or idea.