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the line graph shows the total exports of clothing in4 countries in 2000 and 2014

The line chart depicts the total exports of clothings in four major exporter countries- China, EU, Asia (whithout China) and the USA-over a 14-year period, from 2000 to 2014.
Overall,there was a wide disparity between the figure for China and those of other countries, in terms of exporting clothings. While all three countries showed a considerable decline, China became the largest exporter of clothing.The opposite trajectory was recorded in the total of exports in the EU, stable decline, and shared similar figures with Asia in 2014. Additionally, the USA witnessed a moderate decrease, before sharing the least percentage of exports.
Looking first at the substantial differences, in 2000, China registered 10% of total exportets of clothing manufactured in China, whereas the EU was at the top of the list, with recording approximately 33%. The propotion of the EU decreased consistently throughout the period,yet China initiated increasing and overtook the EU in 2005.The dicrepancy became wider as the years passed, preventing the EU to recover; hovewer, the figur for the EU started declining less slightly but more graudually.Eventually, China made the greatest percentage of exports, with record of 35% in 2014, whereasthw Europen Union’s figure ended up with sharing roughly 17%, at the same thime.
Asia(without China), on the other hand, started off at 20% and decreased moderately untill 2008, followed by a steady but slight rise from 15% to almost 17% in 2014.As for the USA , scenario was even worse, as the United States showed a constant and recognisable decrease, initiated at 13% and ended up with declining to 5% in 2014.

6.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in the use of articles and prepositions.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more precise comparisons.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific details and make more precise comparisons.
  • Use a wider range of structures to discuss the data.