Some people believe that governments should spend more money on public services rather than waste it on the arts, such as music and theatre. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In many countries, there is a debate about whether governments should invest more in public services, like healthcare and education, or support the arts, such as music, theatre, and museums. While it is true that basic needs must be satisfied for any society to function, I believe the arts are also essential and should not be overlooked when it comes to government funding.
On the one hand, healthcare, education, and public transport have direct effects on people’s everyday lives. When these services are underfunded, the quality of life can drop significantly. For example, poor hospitals lead to longer waiting times for patients, and badly maintained roads can cause traffic problems and accidents. Therefore, it is logical that governments focus on improving public services since they benefit the population as a whole.
On the other hand, the arts hold an important place in society. Culture is something that brings people together, inspires creativity, and preserves traditions. When governments invest in music, theatre, or art exhibitions, they create opportunities for local artists to develop their talent and share it with the public. Moreover, culture and arts can attract tourists, which generates revenue for the country. Without government support, many art programs might struggle to survive due to limited private funding.
In conclusion, while it is essential for governments to finance public services, it would be wrong to consider spending on the arts as wasteful. In my view, a balance should be established where both vital public services and cultural sectors are supported. This way, societies can enjoy a high standard of living while also promoting creativity and preserving their cultural heritage.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your paragraphs focus on a single main idea.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are few grammatical errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task fully and presents a well-developed response with relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, the argument could be more balanced in places.
Suggestions
- Consider presenting a more balanced argument by discussing potential benefits of investing in the arts more thoroughly.
- Ensure that each paragraph is well-developed and clearly contributes to your overall argument.