Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both and give your opinion

It is believed that laws should allow people to drink alcohol without having strict rules while others argue that should be limited.
In my view not having rules brings economical benefits, but this is mostly disadvantageous because of social impact.
To begin with, alcohol beverages are more expensive than other drinks like water or coffee. If there are no age limits on drinking, the number of consumers would dramatically increase, thereby significantly impacting the economy. Some countries rely heavily on selling alcohol products for greater income. For example countries like Vietnam and Armenia don’t have legal age limits for purchasing or drinking alcohol.
Rules are designed for safety of the citizens in both their health and community. Age limits help people to prevent from harm and any problems. Because of drinking youth organs can face many severe diseases such as cancer or heart disease. If they continue this habit their life longevity will be reduced significantly. Furthermore, when a person drinks alcohol, they cannot think clearly and may make illegal decisions. So this will cause increase of crime. That’s why government trying to control age limits when it relates to intoxicants.
From my perspective, not having strict rules on age limits is dangerous mainly because of its social repercussions. Many youngsters witness so many mixed emotions even a little bit of scolding can make them feel bad. so they want to drink alcohol not because they need this product, but because they want to forget everything and being happy. And this dependence end up having bad situations.
In conclusion even though not having legal law in drinking can help in economic sense. It’s mostly detrimental due to its health and social impact.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument less fluid. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the overall stance on the issue.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to clearly restate your points in the conclusion.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that can be distracting. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors that could be corrected for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to better convey the nuances of the argument.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear personal stance. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the key points and clearly restating the overall stance on the issue.