Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over which subjects should be concentrated by school children who are in adolescence age. While some argue that adolescents ought to study all curricula at school including the disciplines that they are not passionate about , I side with those who believe that it is more efficient to be attentive to the area of interests or they have talents.
On the one hand, the people considering the former way is better cite several justifications for their stance. Firstly, there are a number of courses that should be learnt as they are necessary for not only the bodies who want to be qualified in these subjects but also for every individual who want to own successful careers in other domains which they are good at and keen on . I can consider arithmetic and basic computing for instance. When it comes to the former it plays a cruical role in the labor market .This is because people can not struggle in the hypercompetitive world which leads to the potential future if they do not know even the easiest way of calculation like division or multiplication before graduating school. The latter is also vital especially in this developing world in terms of technology.
However, I would argue that choosing and focusing on what students are enthusiastic and proficient in can have more advantages.Firstly , this choice can offer a long-term success, because people can be happy and fulfilled when they work on projects which they are curious about . This is also pointed out by the most successful idols such as Elon Musk and Steve Jobs who are famous for their companies like “SpaceX “and “Apple ” . Furthermore, in most cases, people do not feel exhausted while doing their beloved tasks since they do not even notice how time flows and they feel energetic.
In conclusion , although there are some knowledge that is important such as mathematics and IT I think it is more pivotal to pay attention the domains according to interests for all teens.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The body paragraphs each discuss a different viewpoint, but the connection between them could be made clearer with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Overall, the essay is well-organized, but the coherence could be improved with better use of linking phrases.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The writer uses a variety of vocabulary, including some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing two different viewpoints on the issue. The writer clearly states their position in favor of focusing on students’ interests and talents. The essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments. However, the argument could be more fully developed with additional supporting details and examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.