The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008.
The bar chart illustrates how many people were employed in five different industries, with the data being recorded in 2001 and 2008.
Overall, this 7-year period registered an increasing number of employees working as salespeople, computing staff, and nurses, contrasting with accountants and farmers whose statistics showed a downward trend. Additionally, sales were the job that had the highest figures in both years.
In 2001, sales took the lead with more than 15,000 employees, which was nearly eight times higher than the figure in farming. Over the course of 7 years, the former experienced a moderate growth of 1,000 whereas the latter decreased slightly to about 19,000.
In the starting year, the number of employees in computing and nursing were equal, at just over 5,000. In the next 7 years, there was a noticeable increase in both these figures, to 6,500 and 5,900 respectively.
In the accounting industry, there was a minimal decline throughout the period. Standing at 6,000 in the first year, it marginally fell to about 5,900 in the last year.
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overview and logical structure. However, there are minor inaccuracies in the data description.
Suggestions
- Ensure accuracy in data description.
- Use more linking words for better flow.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, with some variety in word choice.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with a high level of accuracy.
The essay addresses the task by summarizing the main trends and comparing data, but contains some inaccuracies in figures.
Suggestions
- Double-check data for accuracy.
- Ensure all trends are correctly interpreted.