Selling Tobacco should be banned
Selling Tobacco should be banned.
Nowadays tobacco has already done the big influence for people’s life and also proliferation among the men.Nevertheless, it is feasible to solve this issue by reducing tobacco shops.
The use of tobacco products is a rising day after day in a lot of countries.Cigarettes it’s kind of the tobacco product which is widespread around the world, and people consume them insatiable.Yet this is lead to the big health problems like heart pressure or lung abscess. In some cases it can be involved until the death, because our health can’t support the harmful substances.
Turning to the solutions, diminishing the tobacco shops in each country can be a pivotal impact to people’s life to the right side.Nowadays a lot of tobacco shops sell their products in an illegal way. To be more precise they haven’t got a permit to sell tobacco products and they don’t look to age the person.By the law person can buy the tobacco products after 20 age and also sellers must sell their products over the 20 age person.We should muse this topic deeply and find other solutions.
To conclude, the rising of the tobacco substances around the world can lead to big threats,but if people unite together and find other solutions and combat with them and then deploying the tobacco will be reduced in each country.
The essay is somewhat organized, but the ideas are not clearly connected. There is a lack of logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes incorrect, making it difficult to follow the argument.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.
- Make sure to fully develop your points in each paragraph.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are several instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. Spelling and word formation errors are present, which can cause difficulty for the reader.
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can cause confusion. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to incorrect grammar and punctuation errors.
The essay addresses the topic of banning the sale of tobacco, but the argument is not fully developed. The ideas are somewhat relevant, but the points could be more thoroughly explained and supported with evidence. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all ideas are fully developed and supported with evidence.