The plans show a small theatre in 2010, and the same theatre in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The maps illustrate the layout of theatre in 2010, and its appearance after redevelopment in 2012.
Overall, it can be seen that while amendments were mostly added to the southern and northern part of theatre, central part of it remained untouched. Also, new amenities were added to the theatre.
Prior to development, in the southeast part, there were admin office and ticket office located side by side and next to the second entrance of auditorium. Cafe was situated in the southwest of the theatre and near to the first entrance and in the south, there was a main door to theatre. In the central part, there was a auditorium with plenty seats and looked to the stage, which was in the north and not spacious. Dressing room was behind the stage, which covered the whole south part and there was a door in the dressing room which led to the storage in the northwest.
After redevelopment, admin office was relocated to west side and near the restaurant, built in the southeast as a facility for audience. The main door was moved a litte toward southeast and cafe was removed and replaced with ticket office. The auditorium was remained unaltered after renovation. The stage was expanded more toward north and there was a corridor behind it in order to make entering from dressing room to storage accessible. Dressing room was replaced with storage and also, expanded a bit, while storage was moved to northeast. Showers were constructed as a amenity and connected with dressing room.
256 words
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to make the relationships between ideas more clear.
- Consider using more topic sentences to introduce each new point.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay makes use of a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are very few grammatical errors.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. The essay also makes relevant comparisons where necessary. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding the use of informal language.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific details and data to support your comparisons.
- Avoid using informal language. Stick to the use of the passive voice when describing changes.