The plans show a small theatre in 2010, and the same theatre in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The maps illustrate the layout of a theatre in 2010, and its appearance after redevelopment in 2012.
Overall, it can be seen that while significant changes include the addition of new amenities, such as restaurant and showers, as well as alteration to the stage and storage areas, the central part, including auditorium, was remained untouched.
Prior to development, in the southeast part, the admin and ticket offices were side by side near the auditorium’s second entrance. Cafe was situated in the southwest of the theatre and near to the first entrance and in the south, there was a main door to theatre. In the central part, there was an auditorium with plenty seats and looked to the stage, which was in the north and not spacious. Dressing room was behind the stage, which covered the whole northern area and there was a door in the dressing room which led to the storage in the northwest.
After redevelopment, admin office was relocated to west side and near the restaurant, built in the southeast as a facility for audience. The main door was moved a litte towards southeast and cafe was removed and replaced with ticket office. An auditorium remained unaltered after renovation. The stage was expanded more toward north and there was a corridor behind it in order to make entering from dressing room to storage accessible. The dressing room was replaced by storage and slightly expanded a bit, while storage was relocated to the northeast. Showers were added as an amenity and connected with dressing room.
The essay is logically organized and uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately. However, there are a few areas where the use of these devices could be improved for better flow and clarity.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to make the relationships between the ideas more explicit.
- Consider using more topic sentences to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where the choice of words could be improved for better precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where the sentence structure could be improved for better clarity.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. The essay also makes relevant comparisons where appropriate. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding the use of symbols such as $ and $ signs.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and data to support your comparisons and descriptions.
- Avoid the use of symbols such as $ and $ signs.