Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views on whether children should study all subjects at school or focus only on their favourite ones. While some argue that students should learn all subjects, I believe that concentrating on their favourite subjects is more effective.
On the one hand, there are several benefits of learning all subjects equally at school. First and foremost, children should give equal attention to all school subjects for a balanced education. Each subject contributes unique skills,for example, math is learnt for logic and problem-solving, and also literature is useful for communication. And also other subjects like history and science critical thinking and a deeper understanding of the world around us. Moreover, balanced learning might prepare students for diverse challenges in life, equipping them with a range of knowledge that can be applied in various situations.
On the other hand, learning specialized subjects has more advantages. Firstly, focusing on specific subjects can help to teenagers develop expertise in areas they are passionate about. When students study topics which are they enjoy, they might become more motivated and put in extra effort, as a result they can get better academic performance and deeper understanding. For example, a teenager who excels in art or music can devote more time to perfecting their skills, paving the way for a successful career in those fields.Secondly, trying to give equal attention to all subjects can cause unnecessary stress and lower overall effectiveness. Teenagers may feel frustrated when forced to focus on subjects they find uninteresting or challenging. Instead, concentrating on their strengths allows them to channel their energy into areas where they can truly shine, unlocking their full potential and building confidence in the process.
In conclusion, althougt some believe that students should study every subject at school, I think focusing on the subjects they enjoy most is more productive.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the two views but could be more engaging. The body paragraphs each discuss a view but could be more detailed. The conclusion restates the opinion but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments you have made in the essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary but could be more precise. For example, “children should give equal attention to all school subjects for a balanced education” could be rephrased as “children should devote equal attention to all subjects to ensure a balanced education.” Additionally, “trying to give equal attention to all subjects can cause unnecessary stress” could be more concisely phrased.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures but contains several grammatical errors. For example, “And also other subjects like history and science critical thinking and a deeper understanding of the world around us” should be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, “Moreover, balanced learning might prepare students for diverse challenges in life” could be more clearly expressed.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views but could more fully develop the argument for the second view. The essay clearly states the opinion that focusing on favorite subjects is more effective but could further elaborate on why this is the case. Additionally, the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and provide sufficient detail and examples to support your points.