All university students should do voluntary work in their own free time to help the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is said that students should be involved in volunteering during their spare time. However, I believe that the financial status of many cannot support this idea, and instead of volunteering, they should focus on more important tasks, even though volunteering offers numerous benefits.
There are some benefits to working unpaid. One of them is gaining experience. Nowadays many companies do not employ workers who have no experience; in order not to face such challenges at the start of their careers, they may be able to volunteer and gain valuable experience. Moreover, besides experience, personal growth can be obtained through unpaid work. While working for free, one can boost his communication skills along with his confidence. As you get to interact with the people who come to volunteer with you, by extension.
However, despite the above-mentioned advantages of volunteering, negative sides weigh heavier. For one, now many students have a packed schedule, due to which it is too tough for them to allocate their time to volunteering. As most students participate in extracurricular programs on a regular basis. In other words, adding volunteering to the busy schedule would go over the top. Another reason why students shall not work unpaid is their financial situation. Many work already alongside their studies in order to pay their college bills. They logically can not devote their time to unpaid work.
In conclusion, I am yet to be convinced that volunteering is what students should be busy with in their free time, since there are students who barely pay their bills and do not have extra hours.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but the transition between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “negative sides weigh heavier” could be rephrased as “the drawbacks are more significant,” and “they shall not work unpaid” should be “they should not work unpaid.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “As you get to interact with the people who come to volunteer with you, by extension” is unclear and awkward. To improve the essay, the author should focus on sentence construction, ensuring that sentences are clear and grammatically correct. Paying attention to punctuation and subject-verb agreement will also help improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the benefits of volunteering and the practical considerations that may limit some students’ ability to participate. The author presents a clear position, arguing that students should prioritize other tasks over volunteering. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by offering a more detailed exploration of the topic. The conclusion is brief and could be more fully developed to provide a more comprehensive summary of the essay’s main points.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.