In this modern age, we are the witness of the vast majority of parents’ either making their children study or work from their early childhood. Do you agree or disagree?
In this contemporary age,it has already become pretty ubiquitous to observe parents either forcing their adolescents to study or to work from their early childhood. I fundamentally oppose to this.
Parents have a willingness to make their youths be the best version of themselves. Not only do they want thier children to learn new skills but also they feel like their kids’ getting prepared for the future by taking the precaution of being lack of experience.
Nevertheles, this notion poses several negative effects. Having implemented this idea, there is a highly likelyhood that parents may destroy their kids’ life by giving a depression, thereby depriving their youngsters from freedom infancy,let alone allowing them to enjoy their childhood.
It can result in permanent disability, ill health and psychological damage. Often health problems caused by being engaged in children labour may not develop or show up until they are adults. Less abstractly, young generations cannot get used to enduring difficulties which might lead them to break their soul.
They soon start losing interest in daily life and gaining stress. This idea narrows adolescents’ developing. Simultaneously,this suppress them from having own thought and setting specific goals in the future.
Taking all factors into account, I cannot see any point in making kids study or work from their early ages. Nor do i approve this idea insisting that this is the worts way to encourage them to expand. Therefore, there a hyghly reccommendation that children left free in stead of being forced that leads them to be lack of bright future.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and provide a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be improved.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can hinder the overall clarity. Punctuation is also not always used correctly, which can affect the flow of the essay. Proofreading is recommended to ensure that these issues are addressed.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay clearly addresses the prompt and presents a clear stance against the idea of forcing children to study or work from a young age. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points, but the essay could benefit from more specific examples to further illustrate the potential negative effects. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-developed.