The given diagram compares informations about the percentages of people that live in cities in different countries from Asian continent and predicts them for 2030 to 2040.
The given diagram compares informations about the percentages of people that live in cities in different countries from Asian continent and predicts them for 2030 to 2040.
Overall, All figures shows upward trends without any exceptions throughout the period.it is expected that Malaysia will have the highest rate by contrast Thailand will replace the latest place.
Looking at the details with regards,
At the beginning, The Phillipiness and Malaysia had more urban population compared to other cities.However,Malaysia overtook all figures with its highest rate.It faced to significant increase until the end,it started at 30% and ended at 90%.Furthemore,The Phillippines grew steadly to reach 50% by 2040.
Least Indonesia’s population preferred to live urban areas . However, predictions shows that it will increase significantly from 15% to 60% and it will replace at the second place.Equally,Thailand had the least population who live in modern cities.Despite being like that, percentages of citizens kept increasing until the end.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some issues with word choice and spelling.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can cause some difficulty for the reader.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding some of the more general statements.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details to support your main points.
- Avoid making overly general statements. Try to use data from the diagram to support your arguments.