Some people think that creating more sport facilities is the most effective method to increase public health. Others argue that this cannot be the best option and other ways should be implemented. This essay will discuss both viewpoints before presenting my own opinion.
To begin with, creating more sport amenities can be practical way to improve public health. Since we live in fast-paced society, people tend to spend their time to essential aspects of life such as work or study. Therefore, doing sports daily has become unimportant aspect of people’s life. As a result, working long hours without sufficient physical exercise is causing major health problems such as obesity and poor eyesight making people consider the importance of doing sports. Because it is scientifically known that sports can significantly improve one’s overall well-being, governments should start providing free sport facilities for public. In other words, building pitches and workout places between residential areas naturally attracts people around.
Nevertheless, applying other approaches like making people aware of what they are consuming can be viable solution which latter people argue. As most people now have busy schedules, they tend to eat ready-made and fatty meals in order to save their time. Normally, this meals lack essential vitamins which people need, effecting peoples health negatively. In this sense, by making people aware of which foods are beneficial and nutritious, government can help people to lead a healthy life. Adding extra information and certain warnings on the labels of foods and products is one of the examples. In addition, decreasing the number of harmful products including fries, sodas and energy drinks is another way to maintain healthy life among people. In this approach, government should create heavy taxes on this products forcing manufacture to produce less of harmful foods. Once it is done prices of these products will increase thus making people not purchase them often.
In my opinion, while there are merits to both ideas, I believe that using all viable approaches together may be the best way to increase public health.
To sum up, although creating more sport facilities can help people to stay healthy, we should not avoid other approaches like creating taxes on harmful products and increasing awareness among people. However, I think by applying all approaches at the same time can be the most effective solution so far. Therefore, government should strive to take a step using all methods to maintain healthy lifestyle.

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “this meals lack essential vitamins which people need, effecting peoples health negatively” should be “these meals lack essential vitamins, negatively affecting people’s health.” Improving the precision and appropriateness of vocabulary will enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and preposition use. For example, “this meals lack essential vitamins which people need, effecting peoples health negatively” should be “these meals lack essential vitamins, affecting people’s health negatively.” Proofreading for these errors and focusing on complex sentence structures will improve the overall grammatical accuracy of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer presents relevant arguments for both sides and supports these with appropriate examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. The essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of the potential challenges and limitations of the suggested approaches to improving public health.