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These days, more and more children are taking sports seriously. Is this a positive or negative development?

In an era characterized by a growing emphasis on athleticism, it has become increasingly common for children to participate in athletic pursuits on a regular basis, particularly in rural areas. While this situation poses serious challenges in terms of academic success, I firmly believe that it offers more significant benefits when viewed through the lens physical health.
Critics of sports cite various reasons to support their stance. When younger individuals take sports seriously, they are more likely to dedicate substantial amounts of time to training sessions and daily workouts, which causes them to neglect their school assignments, standardized tests, and extracurricular activities. As a result, they may find it difficult to keep up with peers and achieve high marks, thus compromising academic performance and potential for future success. In a world where academic issues are escalating and schoolchildren struggle to concentrate on their studies due to excessive screen time, obsession with sports might exacerbate the existing problems related to time management and effective learning.
Despite these arguments, in my view, the advantages of sports carry much greater weight. If the younger generation begins to indulge in sports pursuits like football, running, and swimming, they gain valuable opportunities to strengthen their muscles, enhance cardiovascular health, boost immune systems, and maintain a healthy weight, which improves the physical fitness. This can ultimately lower the risk of chronic health ailments such as diabetes, obesity, osteoporosis, asthma, and cancer, thereby increasing their life expectancy and improving their overall quality of life. In a context where younger generations suffer major health issues because of sedentary lifestyles and unhealthy eating habits, active engagement in sports activities can make a big difference in terms of leading to a healthy lifestyle.
In sum, although doing sports may raise serious concerns regarding children’s school performance, I remain convinced that it ultimately brings much greater benefits associated with physical well-being. Only by immersing themselves in physical activities can offspring improve their fitness and stay away from chronic health conditions.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and the body paragraphs are well-structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A wide range of vocabulary is used effectively and accurately. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free, and punctuation is well managed. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.