Some people think that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Others believe that living in a big city is better for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Most of majority think living in countryside for children is superior than a developed city. Some suggested that it’s more advantageous living in a town .Firstly, let’s think about second view. Nowadays a lot of people moving to a cities from their countryside and developing there . Absolutely , it’s in city has a lot of good sides , teaching and learning methods , more improved skills , modern buildings and other innovational technology. For children, you can find many useless to their improvement and skills. Firstly , they can go to the modern kindergarten where includes 3 times of meals , toys for youngsters and preparing them to a school skills . Secondly , in school they can study in a safety places and good conditions than any countryside . And the las one is , when they grow up and enter to a university , they can find job easily after graduating universities. For example , if student wants to be doctor , she/he enters to study with exams , and after graduating can find a simple job like nurse. After taking a job experience they be able to work to being a doctor .The best useless is a payment . With their experience and good communicating skills they will take a big payments
Now , I am going to share with my opinions for living in a countryside . Firstly in countryside have a lot good views which we say “not modern”. I t is a countryside’s weather . There aren’t a terrible atmosphere like a cities . Children can breath with a soft and clear atmosphere . Living in a nature is a something different feeling. Youngsters see and learn how to attitude to environment . A range type of trees , flowers such as tulip, rose , and domestic animals is very different from a cities . But about teaching skills I have some opinions . Some thinks that in countryside don’t have a job experience and they teach pupils only with student’s book, not with other interesting methods . But nowadays , more developing countries are growing their agricultural farms . For example , I live in Uzbekistan and in our countryside have built many institutes and language learning schools . It means that our territory increasing day by day .
In conclusion I want to say that give a chance to your child choose where they want to live . Their opinin is important. Maybe after times they improve by their self. Both view is very good to live and don’t waste your time .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured to discuss both views of the argument about children’s living environments, but the transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction of the second viewpoint is abrupt and could be better integrated into the overall flow of the essay. Using more varied transitional phrases and ensuring each paragraph builds on the last would enhance the essay’s coherence.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices that could be refined. For example, “useless to their improvement and skills” could be rephrased as “providing opportunities for their personal and skill development.” Additionally, “the las one is , when they grow up and enter to a university , they can find job easily after graduating universities” is awkward and could be more clearly expressed.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that detract from the overall clarity. Proofreading to correct errors such as “a cities” instead of “cities” and “they teach pupils only with student’s book” instead of “they teach pupils only from textbooks” would improve accuracy. Additionally, varying sentence structures could make the writing more engaging.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of both living in the countryside and in a city for children. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support its points. The conclusion could also be strengthened by summarizing the main arguments and clearly stating the writer’s opinion on the issue.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and support them with relevant examples.
- Consider providing a more detailed conclusion that summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.