When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Working constitutes for a considerable part of one’s life. There is a notion that if given a choice to choose between a life without any work and working for most of life, individuals would usually pick the former. Even though it might be true for some, I believe most people would prefer the second option due to feelings of pupose and reasons for personal development.
It is true that some people may prefer a life with no work since they can spare more time for other meaningful activities. For example, people can have the opportunity to achieve life dreams and lead proper lifestyles. As most people these days have no time to do these because of their job and all the tasks they have to complete at work, people would prefer life of no work so that they might be able to do other more enjoyable things.
I, however, argue that most people would still select a life with a job. This is because without career goals and accomplishments, life might become meaningless, disrupting the feelings of motivation and mental health. As we spend most of our time at work, we set goals, such as promotions, pay rises or contributions to the society, and try hard to achieve them. Without careers, human beings may stop working and life could become dull.
Moreover, people need jobs to develop. Employment brings motivation to people so that they work and get better. In order to improve in their occupation, people people must work on multiple aspects putting countless efforts. This pursuit of self-interest makes people grow as an individual. Additionally, we benefit the people around us or the whole community unknowingly while chasing our goals. These two aforementioned elements combined, jobs play crucial role in our life.
In conclusion, while it could be true for some people to choose life without employment because they can live their desired life, in my opinion, most people would rather live a life with a particular job since it drives motivation and purpose in life as well as contributing to personal growth.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the essay.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could enhance the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear personal stance. The writer presents a well-developed argument supported by relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style to better fit the task requirements.